If your roommate thinks you're messy and wants you to change, this can lead to conflict. In fact, many roommate relationships fall apart once two people discover that their housekeeping habits are at odds with each other. Fortunately, there are ways that roommates can work around their neatness differences and at least make things tolerable until the end of the lease term.
Here are some ideas for tackling this problem:
Have an Honest Conversation
Put yourself in your roommate's shoes. It's easy for someone who likes to keep things neat and clean all the time to take it personally and get angry with a roommate who's messy. It may help things if your roommate is reminded that your actions are about you and not about being mean to your roommate or trying to make her life difficult in any way.
Remove Bedrooms from the Equation
Your roommate shouldn't have a say in how neat or messy you decide to make your own bedroom. It's your turf and you can leave your bed unmade and clothes on the floor every day, if you want to. Remind your roommate, if need be, that he's also got his own space that he can keep the way he wants without your influence.
Compromise With Common Areas
The only legitimate bone of contention between you and your neater roommate should be the common areas, such as the kitchen, bathrooms, and living room. But if your roommate can become more tolerant and you're willing to do a bit more, you may be able to reach a compromise that you both can live with.
Here are some suggestions:
Hire a cleaning service. Talk to your roommate about hiring a cleaning service once a week or every other week. Having a professional cleaner visit your apartment can help make up for your perceived shortcomings. Also, many people find it easier to maintain neatness when a professional provides some help on a regular basis.
Offer to do more non-cleaning chores. If cleaning isn't your strong suit, offer to do more of the other apartment chores, such as grocery shopping and the errand of paying your rent and utility bills. Dividing chores in a way that reflects your interests or acknowledges your abilities and limitations means both of you will get what you want more efficiently and with minimal conflict.
